Effective coaching in leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about asking the right questions. Questions are the foundation of coaching because they unlock new perspectives, spark self-discovery, and empower others to take ownership of their growth. If you want to lead with impact, mastering the art of asking the right questions in coaching will set you apart.
In this article, we’ll explore why questions matter, how they work in coaching, and practical strategies you can apply immediately. Let’s start by looking at how a simple shift in your approach can transform your leadership.
The Power of Questions: A Quick Story
Picture this: Sarah, a manager at a mid-sized marketing agency, struggles to keep her team on track. Deadlines are slipping, and morale is low. Frustrated, she meets with David, her team lead, and asks, “Why aren’t you meeting deadlines?”
David mumbles excuses. The conversation stalls, leaving both of them frustrated.
Now imagine Sarah tries a different approach:
“David, what’s been the biggest challenge for you with this project?”
David hesitates but then opens up: “Honestly, I’m overwhelmed. The client keeps changing their requests, and I’m not sure how to prioritize.”
That one question shifts the tone entirely. Instead of assigning blame, Sarah uncovers the real issue. Together, they brainstorm a plan to address the client’s requests. David leaves feeling supported and motivated.
The difference? A thoughtful question invited collaboration instead of conflict.
Why Great Leaders Ask Great Questions
Questions are powerful because they:
- Encourage ownership: Instead of handing out solutions, you empower others to find their own.
- Foster trust: A well-timed question shows that you’re listening and genuinely care.
- Uncover root causes: Problems often run deeper than they appear on the surface. Questions help you dig deeper.
- Drive clarity: When someone articulates their thoughts, they often discover solutions in the process.
Asking questions isn’t just a skill—it’s a mindset. You’re not the problem-solver or the authority. You’re the guide.
The Science Behind Questions
Neuroscience backs this up:
- Questions activate the brain: When you ask someone a question, it stimulates their prefrontal cortex—the area responsible for problem-solving and critical thinking.
- Curiosity improves engagement: People are naturally wired to seek answers. A good question hooks their attention.
- Open-ended questions reduce defensiveness: Instead of feeling attacked, people feel safe to share.
When you frame your questions strategically, you create an environment where people feel empowered to think deeply and act decisively.
Types of Coaching Questions
Not all questions are created equal. Here are five types you should keep in your toolkit:
1. Open-Ended Questions
Encourage exploration and discussion.
- “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?”
- “How do you think we should approach this?”
2. Clarifying Questions
Help refine vague ideas.
- “Can you elaborate on that?”
- “What does success look like in this situation?”
3. Reflective Questions
Encourage self-awareness.
- “What could you have done differently?”
- “How do you feel about the outcome?”
4. Probing Questions
Dig deeper to uncover insights.
- “Why do you think that happened?”
- “What’s driving that decision?”
5. Future-Focused Questions
Shift focus toward solutions and possibilities.
- “What’s the first step you can take to resolve this?”
- “Where do you see yourself in six months?”
Mistakes to Avoid
Even well-meaning leaders can fall into common traps when asking questions:
- Leading questions: “Don’t you think we should try this instead?” These push your opinion instead of inviting theirs.
- Rapid-fire questions: Bombarding someone with too many questions can feel overwhelming.
- Loaded questions: “Why are you always late?” These can come off as accusatory.
- Interrupting answers: If you jump in too quickly, you risk shutting down dialogue.
The key is to stay curious and give people the space to reflect.
Practical Tips for Better Questioning
Want to sharpen your questioning skills? Start here:
- Practice active listening: Pay full attention to the answers before planning your next question.
- Stay neutral: Keep your tone free of judgment. This encourages honesty.
- Use silence strategically: Give people time to think. Pausing can lead to deeper responses.
- Focus on “what” and “how”: These open up possibilities. Avoid “why” if it might feel like blame.
- Prepare, but stay flexible: It’s okay to have a plan, but let the conversation flow naturally.
Case Study: Turning Conflict into Collaboration
Emma manages a customer service team. One of her employees, Jason, frequently clashes with coworkers. Instead of reprimanding him, Emma schedules a one-on-one conversation.
She starts with, “Jason, can you tell me about a time when collaboration felt easy for you?”
Jason, caught off guard, shares a story from a previous job. Emma listens carefully and then asks, “What made that experience so positive?”
By focusing on strengths instead of problems, Emma helps Jason identify behaviors he can replicate. Together, they brainstorm ways to improve teamwork. Over time, Jason’s relationships with colleagues improve dramatically.
Exercises to Build Your Questioning Skills
Here’s how you can put these ideas into practice:
- Question Inventory:
- List five open-ended questions you can use in your next meeting.
- Reflect on which types of questions you use most often and where you can diversify.
- Conversation Review:
- After a coaching conversation, evaluate how your questions influenced the dialogue.
- Ask yourself: Did I guide or dominate? Did I uncover new insights?
- Role-Playing:
- Pair up with a colleague to practice coaching scenarios.
- Take turns being the coach and the coachee to refine your approach.
Reflection Questions for Leaders
- How comfortable are you with silence during conversations?
- Do your questions focus more on problems or possibilities?
- How often do you genuinely listen, versus waiting to speak?
Action Plan
To integrate better questioning into your leadership:
- Identify one upcoming meeting where you can focus on asking more open-ended and reflective questions.
- Set a goal to ask at least three strategic questions in that conversation.
- Write down your observations afterward to track progress.
I hope you found this article informative and helpful,
Don Merrill, Leadership Coach/Mentor
Don@CoachingSkillsforLeaders.org
PS: please share or repost this article for others to read.
Recent Articles:
71 Powerful Questions to Ask When Coaching an Employee
5 Coaching Questions that Will Help Grow and Retain Employees
Related Videos:
What are Open Ended Questions? Examples. When to ask?
Summarizing and Asking Open-Ended Questions
Related Books:
“Coaching Questions: A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills” by Tony Stoltzfus is a practical guide to mastering the art of asking transformative questions. It includes sample questions and techniques to help coaches deepen their conversations and empower clients to find their own answers. It’s ideal for both new and experienced coaches looking to refine their inquiry skills.
“The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever” by Michael Bungay Stanier is one of the most popular and highly recommended books on coaching. It emphasizes simplicity in coaching through seven essential questions that drive meaningful conversations while empowering others to think for themselves.
“Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone” by Mark Goulston. This book focuses on connecting with others through deep listening and thoughtful questioning. It emphasizes being “more interested than interesting,” making it a valuable resource for building trust and rapport in coaching conversations.
